I feel like abortions should bother me more
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
