Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Randomize
