Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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