just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
