i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
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