Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
