He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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