Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Randomize
