using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
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