3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
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