in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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