on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
