Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Randomize
