while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Randomize