I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
