at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
