K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
