So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
