She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
