I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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