Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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