I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
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