Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
