He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
