She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Randomize
