You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
