Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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