hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I want a musical about memes.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
