Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
There r osticjed everywhere
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
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