She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Randomize
