I'm gonna have a badass scar
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize