are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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