Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
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