Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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