Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
