Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize
