Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Randomize
