That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
