i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
