i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize