there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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