It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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