i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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