You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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