It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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