Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
