i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
