weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
