Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
