we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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