WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
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