Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
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