I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Randomize
