I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
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