shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
he fucked my hip out of place.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
