were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Randomize
