Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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