Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
