i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Randomize
