the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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