Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
