Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
