i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
