By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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