Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Randomize
