CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
