My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
