Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
