does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize