i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
